Home for now

I met up with a couple of friends earlier this week.  One moved here a couple of years ago after spending 40 years in Idaho.  The other is preparing to move back to her North Dakota roots after 12 years in the northwest.  Family is a factor for both moves.

I thought about other friends near my age.  Two still live in our Montana hometown; one even lives in the in the house her in laws also lived in (a very cool mid-century modern 😊).  Both have family nearby and are well established in the community.

Three other friends also stayed in Montana.  They have had careers and built solid local friendships over the years that they can count on. They also have sons or daughters who live in different states, but visits back and forth occur regularly. 

My meilleur ami returned to Montana after years in the northwest.  She didn’t return to our hometown but settled in one of her favorite Montana spots.  Her son and his family live in the same town.

One of our long-time Montana friends is calling Denver her ‘forever home’. She has moved around the country due to her husband’s job. One of her sons also lives in Denver and the other one is a fairly short plane ride away.

Looking a little further afield, one of my friends returned to Carmel, CA after years in the Bay Area.  Another CA friend is spending a good part of the year in Fargo, N.D (!) so she and her husband can provide daycare for their grandchild. 

It is all kind of a mixed bag for women my age. 

At first glance, it seems like being somewhat near family is a big draw, but close friends and community ties are also important.  My Montana friends all love Montana (most of the time), so there is that! And who doesn’t love Carmel?!

Note: the snowy pictures in today’s collage are courtesy of my Montana pals.

Where do we fit in? 

We moved to the northwest over 40 years ago and have lived here on and off ever since.  When we moved back the last time, it was primarily for our careers.  I don’t think either of us thought this would be our last move, but it seems to be shaking out that way.  We live fairly close to two daughters (both live in Oregon); the third lives in Montana.  We know our way around the Puget Sound, have made friends over the years, and feel pretty well settled. 

Fortunately, we all have the mental acuity, physical ability, and financial wherewithal to be active, travel a little, and visit family and friends – pandemic permitting.

But what might be our next chapter? 

I remember the words of wisdom from Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old A Highly Judgmental, Unapologetically Honest Accounting of All the Things Our Elders Are Doing Wrong ( a good $9 investment on Kindle)

Aging in place is the dream plan for a lot of us, but for our families it can be more of a nightmare.  I will make the appropriate arrangements for my care, and not just hope it all works out.

Steven Petrow

I guess we all still need a ‘senior living’ plan – but hopefully we can all stay active, mentally and physically healthy, and keep travelling, – and not have to execute the plan for a VERY LONG TIME 😊!



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